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Blender's Un-Documentation

36 logoI remember a special epiphany that I had a long time ago, back when I had a lot of time to blend. For days on end I had been pouring all my spare time into an animation, and on one such day I was sitting there trying to get a toy brontosaurus's eyes to pop out of his skull when he was hit by falling letters (I'm not making this up), when suddenly it dawned on me that the whole project was just plain silly, and I just had to laugh at myself for spending all my time so absurdly. If you've ever experienced a moment like this, or you like to have a good laugh at yourself otherwise, you just might get a kick out of the hilarious Blender article that was recently created on is of course a satire wiki, so I hope you get (or got) a good chuckle about what some people had to say about our favorite 3D app.

Something tells me, however, that we can do much, much better. I'd give that article two stars out of five. It simply needs more funny content. If you think you can improve upon it, you might consider these great subjects that I believe would make great material:

  1. Blender's GUI and learning curve (I shouldn't need to elaborate)
  2. Project Orange and Elephants Dream (a bunch of guys got together to smoke pot for a year in Amsterdam, and all they came up with is this? This movie doesn't have any elephants!)
  3. The NaN bankruptcy and the raising of money to revive Blender (already touched on in the article, but there's room for improvement)
  4. Suzanne (the Blenderhead's ideal mate)

I'm sure you can think of others. It might also be humorous to include certain April Fool's gags in the article as if they were real events. One note I feel is worth mentioning: Uncyclopedia has a certain reputation for being dirty, but it may be best if the Blender article were filled with clean humor, only because there are younger members of our community that may want to enjoy the article.

Let's show that when it comes to making jokes about Blender, nobody does it better than the Blender community.


  1. Whoever wrote that sure did focus on breast simulation didn't they? lol It was a funny read though. :)

    Is Trent Reznor's leaving the community the reason that Blender's sound capabilities haven't been developed so that sound and video are combined into one output file instead of needing to be put together by an external program?

  2. Well, when I joined the Communty I tried a penguin tutorial, but the subsurf somehow didn't work, so his white breast was "blocky". And I wondered how everyone made these nice images, I though they had an incredibly high subsurf and gave each face a color manually :O

    I knew this was wayy to much work, but I couldn't think of anything else at that moment :D

  3. This is not funny at all.. breast simulator!? -come on!! -don't drive 3d or blender's image to the ground with this load of non-sence!!

  4. Yepp John i agree !

    I almost choked while eating a cookie on that one :-)

    I liked the bit over the "4 layers of menus" to find the right tool too ;)

  5. "Blender comes in 4 different colors"
    that pic should be the next blender splash screen
    if thats copywrited, i'll remake it :)

  6. hmm - if you ask me - that bit about the "breast simulator" is just one joke taken a bit too far - now... maybe if only the first reference to it existed?... (at the very beginning)
    -epat. :)

  7. Very funny! Being a great fan of Monty Python and Douglas Adams' stuff I really can appreciate this kind of humor!

    This article really doesn't speak to bad of Blender (apart from the Breast Sim of course lol!)

  8. Francisco Ortiz on

    Hey that was fun! And sharp like Gaalgergely said. I also agree with David! We need to improve it a lot. We have better jokes! Have you listened to Ton's voice?

    Somehow i feel like this article was rude with Ton, (He is my hero, so iam not the right person to judge this part ;).

    Trust me everyone: Blender is helping a lot of people here in Brasil.

    And remember! Don't take this article (And also Blender) to seriously!

    Blender is about having fun.

  9. Thanks for the compliments. I did write a lot of it, and am responsible for the breast simulations and whatnot.

    It's funny to me in the same way that Monty Python's episode about the Larch (And now, number one: the larch. The larch. And now, number two: the larch).

    Nice to see some of the improvements made.

  10. "Blender is quite capable of rendering anything from the brightest, ugliest abstract to the gloomiest dark render filled with talent hidden by poor lighting."

    This was in my opinion the best bit of the article. And it is true it could be more funny. I'd touch the subject of Blender users who are more busy of verbally stating Blender is a professional level application than proving it by producing professional level work with it.

    Also worth a mention is Summer of Code, which, by the help of Google, adds to "the level of professionalism and features of Blender" by integrating previously programmed "hello world" - type standalone applications to the core.

    Also worth mention is a sculpt mode, which brings zbrush - like functionality available for free to anyone who have enough cash to buy a supercomputer.

    And uniquely well documented nature of Blender. Beginner tutorials are aplenty, but you have to be pretty advanced to find any tutorial which deals with intermediate or advanced level of things.

    If someone edits the article and has any use of the above, feel free to.

  11. I think we ought to have a complimentary breast simulation competition to cheer for this article and show the ignoramuses out there what this is all about :-))))

  12. Could be fun to see how a collective humour project lead to...

    If people find that some part aren't fun, they can modify it (I think I will modify some if I have time)

    IMO it must be a north american resident who wrote that (note the passages about europe :p)

    genre: 3D computer graphics/cooking

  13. Godlike!

    I like every bit of that article... that´s all from me, have to return to my breast-simulations... :o)

    3 thumbs up (with breasts!)

  14. I liked "a splinter group of Blender artists have adopted a policy of only modeling wrinkled old men and frogs." which you got to admit is true.. lately we see so many of those :-)

    anyway, I think its brilliant, keep on the great work,

    shul, an apparently Dutch turnip farmer :-]

  15. Man, I love the "G for movinG objects" line. So true...

    It gets even more fun when you start switching back and forth between Blender and Photoshop to get a texture looking right. I keep trying to hold Space to pan the camera... XD

  16. I agree it seemed a bit 'single minded' for allot of that.

    I added stuff about the target audience and wrote some information and trivia about Elephants Dream which you may not have heard.

  17. In the movie, the character Proog, as his name indicates, represents the Blender Programmer. As it is very quickly seen, he is insane.

    Emo, on the other hand, represents the artist that wants to express his emotions through Blender, however the programmer kills him in the end when he complains about the user interface.

    Loved it.

  18. Its a shame thats its been so heavily editted. most of the new stuff isnt funny at all, and it ruins the article as a whole. Theres too much actual content in it now

  19. CubOfJudahsLion on

    Could be much funnier, though I did chuckle a couple of times. I DID laugh out loud at their interpretation of "Elephants Dream" (the best part is, it's as valid as any other).

  20. Claudio Dobniewski aka CJD on

    sorry, but i repeat Blender's keyboard shortcuts mantra (in dutch) looking at Amsterdam now, i write later... :D

  21. I thought the Elephants Dream section was great! Half of it seemed all too true though.
    Blender dev's should all go away and read this, could learn a thing or two about how blender is seen by most of their users!

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